In Your 20's
In our twenties we’re eager to step out and design our own lives. Most of us have our first full time job, first apartment and first serious relationship. We have boundless energy and good health and our fertility is at its peak.  If we are lucky our lives are full of promise.

Protect your skin from the sun.  Neglecting to do so will lead to premature wrinkles, sunspots and potentially even skin cancer, according to makeup maven Bobbi Brown.  Moisturizing is also key, says Brown, because it prevents blemishes. Skin that isn't moisturized produces more oil, which leads to breakouts.  Another issue for women in their 20s, especially those with darker skin, is post-acne spots or scarring. "If this affects you, try an over-the-counter fade cream with sunscreen, such as Ambi," says Deborah Simmons, M.D. "Avoid harsh scrubs and lotions that contain glycolic acid, which can further irritate skin."

Get pretty! Twentysomethings should wear makeup that is light and flattering. Susan Sterling, a makeup artist for Chanel, suggests using a reflective foundation, which can brighten your face. Want a dramatic look? Go wild with eye colors.  "Powdered shadow works on dry and oily skin, and has staying power so you don't need to worry about touch-ups," she says.


 
Your 30's
In your thirties many of us are humming along in our careers and turning our attention to marriage and children.  Women who aren’t married are becoming concerned that they will not meet anybody. Getting pregnant in our thirties is not quite as easy as it was in the twenties. Hormonal shifts make conception more challenging with each passing year.  Many women in their thirties want sex more and are less shy about asking for it.

Age-proof your skin. During your 30s, laugh lines around the forehead, eyes and mouth become more noticeable, so thicker night creams that prevent wrinkles and moisturize tired skin should become a permanent fixture in your medicine cabinet. "Find a product that contains antioxidants to diminish fine lines and protect the skin from environmental damage," suggests Gafni. Continue using oil-free cleansers to ward off breakouts, but skip the astringent, which may dry your skin out.

Get pretty! "Avoid overly bright or garish colors that make you look like you're trying too hard," says Brown. "Aim for earth tones and neutrals." She recommends playing up your cheeks with a brown shade to contour and a soft pink or coral color to highlight. Be careful not to age yourself by applying eyeliner or mascara on your lower lash line, which draws attention to lines or bags under the eyes; instead, apply a coat of mascara to the top lashes and dab a sheer powder or eye gloss over lids.
 
 

Who Has It Easier: Singles or Marrieds?

There's a bigger divide than girls against boys; it's the one between single folks and their married friends. For those who haven't walked down the aisle, it can feel like the state of holy matrimony has declared war on anything fun or spontaneous. On the other side of the fence, it seems like all you did was take the next logical developmental step, and now your old friends hate you. And never the twain shall meet?  But there's one thing both marrieds and singles agree on:  Being married isn't perfect, and yes, there are things that even the happiest wife misses about her single days. And there are singletons who value their status, even if they're sometimes lonely.
 
 






Love Signals

Dating can be like driving an undiscovered road: You need to know when to hit the brakes, when to proceed with caution, and when you can open up to the long stretch in front of you. To help you navigate the landscape, we asked dating experts for their advice on when to steer clear of a new relationship and when to put the pedal to the metal.

Red Lights: Slow Down, Danger Ahead!
Watch out for signs of possible problems with the new man in your life.

Red Light #1: Moving Too Fast"
"Be sure to watch the speed of the relationship," advises Bill Mitchell, a P.I and author of Adultery: Facing Its Reality. Take the time to really get to know someone by asking during your first few dates such questions as: Where did you grow up? What do your parents do? Do you have brothers or sisters? What are they like? You can learn a lot about a person by what he says and the way he answers. "People like to talk about themselves," says Mitchell. If he's hesitant, be cautious.
 

Red Light #2: Meeting on the Information Superhighway
"When arranging to meet someone you met online or in person, make it at a safe time of day and choose a public place -- a restaurant, a coffee bar, or even a large department store," suggests Regena Thomashauer, author of Mama Gena's Owner's and Operator's Guide to Men. Or double date with a friend. Mitchell strongly advises against meeting men online. But if you do try it, he says, never reveal personal information like your address, your age, your occupation, if you travel frequently, and especially your telephone number (someone with less-than-innocent intentions can do a reverse look-up of your phone number and find your address and other information). Mitchell advises that if a relationship is starting to develop, ask the man to send a letter via "snail mail" with more information about himself. Then, verify what you can from his return address and other details like a phone number, or a picture. No return address or a fake one? Pass that guy by!

"Only YOU can Change Your Life"

Red Light #3: Getting Vague Answers
Look out for lazy, vague excuses such as I've got things to do, or I'm really busy this weekend -- especially if it's a frequent response. And be wary if a man takes phone calls out of your earshot or gives you only his cell phone number. There may be someone else in the picture (perhaps a wife) or another reason that he can't connect openly. For a relationship to go anywhere, you need an open communication. If you don't have it up front, you won't have it as the relationship deepens.

Red Light #4: Rebounding from Another Relationship
If you're on the mend from a relationship, take time for yourself. "Don't be so quick to fill that void," says Mitchell. "You won't look objectively at the situation." It sounds contradictory, but if you're dating to prevent loneliness, it's too soon. Besides, finding the right person doesn't happen quickly -- you need time to get to know someone. Hang out with your girlfriends or embark on a solo getaway in the meantime.

Red Light #5: Feeling Desperate
"If you feel pressured," says Thomashauer, "you'll make a desperate decision." For example, you may choose the wrong man or stay in a relationship that's not going anywhere. And avoid substance abusers and men who are verbally or physically abusive. "There are millions of other men out there," she promises. Just cut your losses and move on.



Throughout history, women, both real and imagined, have shown that when it comes to infidelity, it’s not solely a man’s world.
Guinevere
Guinevere Fifth or Sixth Century.  Though accounts of the myth vary, one fact is almost indisputable: Guinevere, betrothed to King Arthur, fell for Sir Lancelot. In some versions, their first kiss ignited their undying love. In others, they united during a rescue.
Hester Prynne ‘The Scarlet Letter’ (1850)
Assuming her husband is lost at sea, Hester takes up with the town’s Puritanical preacher. After giving birth to his child Pearl, Hester is forced to sew her guilt onto her garments.
Emma Bovary ‘Madame Bovary’(1857) The 19th century’s material girl, Emma is more interested in couture and cash than in her husband. But the debts and suspicions mount, and rather than swallow her pride, she swallows arsenic.

Bathsheba
Bathsheba circa 1000 B.C.
Spotted bathing by a voyeuristic King David, the married Bathsheba obliges his demands for a royal romp. Pregnant with David’s child, Bathsheba stands by as he murders her husband; the child conceived with the king dies.

Catherine the Great Eighteenth Century
She needed to produce an heir to the Russian throne but her husband (and cousin), Peter III, was impotent, sterile and mad. Somehow, though, she conceived five children.


Much has changed since Emma Bovary chose suicide with arsenic over living her life branded an adulteress, humiliated, impoverished and stripped of her romantic ideals. In the past, U.S. laws used to punish women who cheated; in a divorce, an unfaithful wife could lose everything, even the property she owned before marriage. Newer laws have been designed to protect these women.

The reality is this: American women today have more opportunity to fool around than ever; when they do fool around, they're more likely to tell their friends about it, and those friends are more likely to lend them a sympathetic ear. They probably use technology to facilitate their affairs, and if they get caught, they're almost as likely to wind up in a wing chair in a marriage counselor's office as in divorce court. Finally, if they do separate from their husbands, women, especially if they're college educated, are better able to make a go of it—pay the bills, keep at least partial custody of the children, remarry if they want to—than their philandering foremothers. "It was just so ruinous for a woman to be caught in adultery in past times, you had to be really driven or motivated to do it," says Peter D. Kramer, clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of "Should You Leave?" "Now you can get away with it, there's a social role that fits you."
 
 


 

BIRTH CONTROL CHOICES
After decades of little to no exciting news in contraceptives for women, suddenly we're riding a wave of promising new birth control methods. According to  Stephanie B. Tiel, M.D., a clinical instructor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University. "There are four new FDA-approved methods of contraception now on the market."  Tiel calls the new options "the best of both worlds" -- they have the quick reversibility of the pill, should you decide to get pregnant, but they're longer-acting systems that don't require busy women to remember to do something at the same time every day.

"You Don't Have to Think About It"
First on the market was Mirena, an intrauterine device (IUD) that's been used in Europe for over ten years. Mirena releases levonorgestrel, a hormone commonly found in the pill, to create a "hostile uterine environment" and prevent pregnancy. Inserted (and removed) by a physician. "You don't have to think about it. Once it's in, it's in," says Tiel. "It's just as effective as having your tubes tied, only it's reversible." Another big plus: Mirena causes lighter periods for most women. In fact, some 20% of Mirena users don't menstruate at all. "It's totally normal. The hormone in the IUD thins the ¼ lining [of the uterus] so you still ovulate, but you don't bleed," Tiel explains. Most of the other 80% experience 1-2 days of very light bleeding, a huge relief if you normally have problem periods. As with any birth control method, there are some disadvantages. Mirena has to be inserted and removed by a doctor; it's a simple, painless procedure, but not a do-it-yourself task. It's also expensive, costing about $360 for the device plus your doctor's visit fees, if your insurance doesn't cover it (some plans do).

Following on Mirena's heels came Lunelle, a monthly hormonal injection. Unlike Depo-Provera, women still menstruate with Lunelle, which has a ten-day "window" for each new dose. In other words, if you got your last Lunelle shot on October 10, you can get your next one any time from November 5-15 without dampening its effectiveness.  Lunelle's effectiveness, at 98-99%, is equivalent to that of the birth control pill if the woman's compliance is good. And since you have to get the shot only once a month, compliance should be higher than with a once-a-day pill. Disadvantages? Some women don't like shots, and the monthly doctor visits can be inconvenient.

Patching It Up
Tiel predicts that Ortho Evra, the birth control patch, will be immensely popular. Using the same hormones as in the most popular birth control pill, Ortho Tri Cyclen, the patch can be applied anywhere on the body -- the buttocks, the lower back, the abdomen -- except directly over the breast. "It's discreet. People don't have to see it if it's under your underwear," she says. It's changed once a week, and has the same possible side effects as the pill.The big difference: patch compliance rates are much higher than with the pill, especially for younger women. The patch does occasionally come loose -- about 3% of the time -- and users need to check once a day to make sure it's still firmly in place.

Finally, there's NuvaRing, a small, flexible transparent ring about as big as a silver dollar, that a woman inserts directly in her vagina. It's replaced every three weeks, and because it's not a barrier method but acts by releasing hormones, it doesn't need to be precisely placed to be effective. "So as long as it's up in the vagina and exerting influence using the hormones, it's fine," says Dr. Tiel. "You just squeeze it and slip it in, and you don't feel it while it's there."  Like the pill, NuvaRing has a pregnancy rate of less than 1%. NuvaRing, OrthoEvra, and Lunelle also have the same risk factors as the pill -- for example, smokers (especially those over 35) are at increased risk of blood clots, and women who have blood clots, certain cancers, or a history of heart attack or stroke are advised against using these methods.

Tiel doesn't think the new options, as exciting as they are, will replace the pill. "The pill probably is still going to be the mainstay contraceptive for women. The point is that some women will do better with the ring, some with the patch, and so on," she says. "Everybody should have the best chance to have maximum success with their contraception."
 
 


 
 
 
 

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