The G-spot is a dime-size area of tissue -- when stimulated, it can enlarge to the size of a quarter -- located three or four inches inside the vagina just above the pubic bone. Since it's galvanized by a different set of nerves than the highly excitable clitoris, you're unlikely to feel it unless you're already aroused. Your search is most likely to succeed if you choose intercourse positions that push the front abdominal area forward.

 

THE AROUSAL  The female body can be pretty puzzling -- even for women. So imagine how hard it is for men to try to navigate and you'll see why he needs all the help he can get.  Your nipples aren't the only hot spots that can refuse to stand at attention when you're aroused. Just when it seems you're ready to reach a mega-orgasm, your clitoris can suddenly decide to play hide-and-seek and disappear -- though really it's just retreated a bit beneath its tiny hood (a totally normal occurrence). The amount of lubrication you produce. Experts say that how wet you are doesn't necessarily reflect how turned on you are, just as it's also true that sometimes your body effortlessly produces motion lotion when you're not ready to rumble. "Many men assume that because their partners have become moist, it's time to move on to the main event." explains sex therapist Laura Berman. The bottom line: Tell him to heed your verbal and tactile clues first, then pay attention to your body's responses. Forget raunchy pillow talk and four-letter words. The language that will really float your man's sexual boat is -- surprise! -- passionate praising of his performance. Phrases like "I love that"; "Oh, my God!"; and the clear, concise "Yes, yes, yes!" work so well because sexy speech lets a guy know without question that he's turning you on. "Men are desperate to please. Once he knows he's rocking your world, trust me, he won't want to stop -- and he'll remember his winning moves next time," author Locker explains. Your outrageous oral ovations will also show how enthusiastic you are about being naked with him.

Dying to teach your man to touch you in all the ways you secretly crave -- without a put-him-on-the-spot sex talk? "I always thought I had a great sex life," remembers Amy Blumyd*, a 28-year-old stockbroker (*some names have been changed).  Then she met Jack, a guy who encouraged her to voice her each and every sensation. "Jack made it clear that he loved it when I was supervocal in bed, so I started oohing and aahing in direct proportion to how much he was turning me on. And an amazing thing happened: He got so tuned in to my pleasure purrs that he starting doing new moves I had never even fantasized about. One night, when we were in the missionary position, he lifted my pelvis. I moaned and he lifted even higher. I had the most incredible orgasm of my life!"  Like Amy, many of us settle for second-best sex, not only because we don't know how to communicate to our partners what pushes our pleasure buttons but because we're not always sure what those buttons are. Maybe that explains why a new study found that 20 percent of young women have trouble getting turned on and 26 percent are unable to reach orgasm. "Sure, we all wish guys physically knew how to touch, lick, and stroke us every time -- then we wouldn't have to explain our turn-ons to them," says Sari Locker, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex (Alpha Books, 1999). "But you can't expect even the most experienced man to be a mind reader. You have to overcome your awkwardness, take charge of your between-the-sheets pleasure, and show him how to satisfy you."

Lusty ladies of the world know a thing or two about getting it good.  Be open to trying surprising, even offbeat ideas. If you're willing to experiment regularly with new love moves and erotic attitudes, it'll pay off in spades of satisfaction. "When you broaden your definition of sexy and dare to try something outside of your usual arsenal of tricks, you not only get the benefit of phenomenal new sensations, you also gain confidence, which makes you more assertive and adventurous in bed," says Barbara Keesling, author of Getting Close.

Laws of the Great Lover

1. He’s super-observant. A great lover doesn’t make love to you as if you’re a generic woman; he talks to you and finds out what you want. He listens and learns from your pleasurable moans, body tension and breathing patterns.

2. He’s a good talker. Great sex goes way beyond the physical. A truly amazing lover stimulates your mind and emotions. He tells you that you’re beautiful from head to toe — and you believe him. He makes you feel sexy and desirable, which turns you on that much more!

3. He has great hands. Fingertips to palms, he understands the power of touch and lets his fingers do the walking all over your body. He knows when to be firm and when to be gentle.

4. He’s down with female anatomy. A great sex partner doesn’t muck around your genitals as if he has no clue where your clitoris is. He slowly but surely finds the right spots to stimulate, and does so in a way that makes you relax and fully enjoy the experience.

5. He’s excited by you. A great lover is fully satisfied only when you are satisfied. It’s your enjoyment that brings his enjoyment to fruition.

6. He kisses well — and a lot. No slobber. No teeth-knocking. No overaggressive tongue. He knows when to shower you with light kisses and when to plant a deep and passionate one. He also knows that a kiss is not meant for lips alone.

7. When he gives you oral sex, you don't feel as though he's doing you a favor — you feel as if you're doing him one!

8. He's imaginative. He conjures up fantasies, tries fun new positions, and brings home toys that keep you surprised and aroused. He understands and respects your limits; you know that his sexy ideas are ways for you two to connect.

9. He makes you the star of the show. During sex, he can't keep his eyes off you. After sex, he wants to hold you. It's intense, flattering and unforgettable.
 
 

The Bad Lover

Simply put, a bad lover is the opposite of everything listed above.  He's too rough or too gentle. He's stuck in a routine. He's uncommunicative and insensitive to what you're trying to tell him physically or verbally. He doesn't seem very interested in your pleasure. Any bedmate who makes you feel as if he could take or leave the whole sex thing is certainly not campaigning for the Best Lover Ever award — and doesn't deserve a return engagement.

It's every woman's duty to her fellow woman to give a subpar lover some useful tips before she passes him on to his next partner. Hopefully, your guy is motivated to learn and improve his ways and isn't too defensive. Gently but firmly give him the feedback he needs to become better in bed. And remember: It takes two great lovers to create unforgettable fireworks in the sack. Make sure you follow the nine laws too!