FRIENDS EVERY WOMAN NEEDS.1. The in-the-trenches-with-you friend. Whether you share the same profession, hometown or marital status, this is the gal whose life is pretty much the same as your own. She’s the one you can count on to listen to a my-life’s-so-tough soliloquy and really get it. Shannon, 32, a stay-at-home mother of three kids under the age of five, says, "Some days when I think I'm really going to lose it, the only thing that keeps me sane is calling up one of my mom friends and letting it all out."
2. The wise woman. She's been there, done that — and she can give you some perspective on your situation. Whether you're surviving your child's terrible twos or climbing the corporate ladder, just knowing that she made it through in one piece helps you persevere. Whether she's your official mentor or simply a more experienced friend, you can learn a lot by picking her brain. My own personal wise woman, Laurie, has worked in so many areas of the publishing world that I consider her a literary goddess; her sage advice was invaluable in making my first book, "Forget Perfect," a success.
3. The joker. She may not be all that reliable, but she has this wonderful way of pointing out the lunacy of the world and making you lighten up and laugh! JoAnn, 50, a self-professed workaholic, adores her wisecracking friend Brenda. "She [says] exactly what she thinks," observes JoAnn. "The best time was when she told our pickiest client to 'get a life and get off our backs.' My own controlled nature would never allow me to do that, but I sure love watching her do it."
4. The fresh friend. Having a friend who is younger than you reminds you of just how far you've come (and, hopefully, how lucky you are to be exactly where you are). While you may envy her youth and enthusiasm, you could also be inspired by her! "I wouldn't have even bothered with the Internet if the younger women in my [life] hadn't forced me to communicate that way," says Shirley, a businesswoman in her mid-50s. "Imagine my son's surprise when I e-mailed him a joke saying, 'DS, thought this one would make you LOL.'"
5. The good guy. Every woman needs a male friend. Think of this buddy as a translator who can help you speak the sometimes befuddling language of the male species — and keep the faith. Annie, 31, says her guy friend, a co-worker and happily married father of two, helped her stay positive during her divorce. "He didn't have to comment on my situation," she reflects. "Simply knowing what a great dad and husband he was proved that my ex wasn't representative of the entire male race." Remember, don't muddy the waters of this friendship with flirtation. Befriend a guy who is happily attached or whom you don't find attractive! Who knows, you might want to add his wife or girlfriend to your friend roster too.
6. The not-my-life friend. You're married; she's not. She's a firefighter, a CEO, a nun. A pal with a very different life provides you with a refreshingly different point of view — and helps you appreciate that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Jodie, 33, a part-time nurse and mother of two, remarks that she and her single friend Emily, a busy public relations executive, help each other see their lives more realistically — and positively. "I can be so mad at my husband that I can't see straight, but one phone call from Emily about her dating woes and he looks a whole lot better," she says. "And she thinks my life is boring as all get out, so it's a great way to remind ourselves that we're happy with our own choices."
7. The history friend. This person is someone who has been the eyewitness to the ups, downs and bad hairdos at every stage of your life. Perhaps you met in the playpen or on the first day of junior high school. This kind of friend is priceless, and you should regularly drop her a line or call her to keep the connection current. Because she's been part of your past, she can fully appreciate your present. Elizabeth, 28, has known her history friend Kirsten since preschool. "Ever since that first day at the snack table, we've been there for each other," she reflects. "When my mom died, Kirsten was my only friend who had known her. I felt as if she was the only one who could fully understand what I had lost." (Courtesy of LifetimeTV online)
DO YOU BRING Money issues plague all couples, but for women who make more than their partner, financial matters can be especially sticky. Even in this day and age, with women working outside the home in record numbers, age-old expectations keep alive the belief that men should "provide" for women, not the other way around.HOME THE BACON?
Still, more and more women are acting as the primary breadwinners for their homes. Twenty-four percent of working wives now earn more than their working husbands, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS); if you count working women married to jobless men, the number jumps to 30%. In other words, nearly one out of every three married women makes more than her spouse. For some couples this arrangement is a success, while for others it's a constant source of conflict. "Couples who see money as a resource, rather than a source of power, and who value each other for who they are rather than what they do, will have an easier time," says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of "How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free."
PLAYA . . . PLAYA
We all know the type. We are drawn to them like moths to a flame. They come in different varieties, but usually have at least three of five traits:
There's just something about those bad boys, isn't there? When they turn the full force of their seductive wiles on you, they're irresistible. And we always want to believe we can change them. But we can't. Which is not to say that they will never change, but it's generally the influence of time that prods them into personal growth. Chances are it won't happen on your watch.
- Good looks
- Charm
- Magnetic personality
- Lots of female "friends"
- Fear of commitment
Men like these are prone to getting their hearts smashed when they finally run across a woman who's as self-absorbed as they are. Are you one of those women? Didn't think so. Our mothers warned us about men like these. Guess what? This time our moms were right. My only piece of advice for when you find yourself involved with one of these types? Break up with him & don't look back.
DATING MISHAPS
Do you find yourself on the second or third date saying, "What did I see in this clod?" If so, then you've been missing the subtle turn-offs and leaving them out of your evaluation. These are the little irksome things people do on dates that you might let slip by:
1. Your date keeps answering his cell phone
This is number one because it's so widely accepted and yet so blatantly rude. What do you think that little power button is for? It's called voice mail — let it do it's job.2. Your date won't let you pay for anything
Although the intention here is often to be generous or chivalrous, it gets old. Go Dutch, especially on the first date, and if your date won't oblige, perhaps there won't be a date number two.3. Your date orders for you at the bar or restaurant We all have a voice, and we need to use it. If you've asked your date to select something from a menu he or she is more familiar with, that's one thing, but you should still be consulted on the choices.
4. You run into some of your date's friends and you're not introduced. Nothing is more awkward than being the sole stranger in a group of friends while they chat away as if you're invisible. It's just insulting. What more can we say?
5. Your date talks about himself the entire time
You may have chalked it up to nerves, and you may find your date fascinating. Okay, fine. But isn't it impolite to not to be asked about your life? Perhaps your date doesn't think you have one. (Maybe this isn't so subtle after all!)6. Your date just assumes you will be seeing one another again. Of course, if you've really hit it off, then it's obvious that you'll both want to get together again soon. Simply forming it as a question (as in, "Would you like to get together again?") is a wonderfully respectful way to be included in the decision.
Ultimately, you make your own decisions about what you can or can't tolerate on a date, but don't let the subtle turn-offs slip by. Take action if you do not feel right!
The Juggling Act
Dating more than one man. Some women think it's a problem. Some women wish they could be so lucky. But every relationship has its share of problems. And if you're dating more than one man, you could be headed for trouble.If dating means the occasional dinner and movie followed by a good-night kiss, the problems you're going to run into mostly have to do with maintaining the power balance. If you liked one of the men more than the other, you wouldn't be going out with both of them, right? It's fairly intoxicating being at the apex of a romantic triangle. But there's no denying that you're spreading yourself thin.
When you're going out with two guys, there's a limit on how deeply you're going to get involved with either of them. At the very least, you're going to have problems keeping track of your conversations. Most people I know have a limited repertoire of anecdotes, and you may find yourself repeating that funny story about Uncle Marvin's bathroom encounter with Clint again and again to John because you meant to tell it to Jim. The real trouble here is that both your relationships are doomed to superficiality: like it or not, most of us are hardwired to bond best one-on-one.
Now, if you're sleeping with both guys, check the all-of-the-above box and add some further difficulties to the list. Such as keeping track of the players' names when your scorecard is far removed from the nightstand. Nothing deflates the male ego (and related parts) faster than having a stranger's name moaned into his ear in a moment of heated passion. And you'll have to be absolutely scrupulous in your safe sex practices; you may be doubling your pleasure, but you're also doubling your risk.Finally, you can bet the farm that no matter how open and honest you are, eventually one of these men will become jealous and hurt -- which raises its own set of problems.
It's not a bad idea to date both until one becomes the clear standout. Once you reach that point, you should either demote the second place guy to friendship status (which probably won't work due to the male ego) or just say, "Let's be friends" (or something to that effect), and move on.
From Mistress to Wife: Now What?
You were the other woman, and now he's yours. Can your marriage withstand these stumbling blocks? Perhaps, the better question is why women expect fidelity from men who've had a history of cheating. There is no way to predict if a man -- or a woman -- will remain faithful. Even a man with a "good" previous record can fall prey at midlife, or as a seemingly justifiable excuse to exit a bad marriage. All relationships are gambles, but there are some men who are worse gambles than others. It's wise to look at a man's past performance before marrying him.
"Every mistress who becomes a wife believes that she is his true love," and that may, at times, be true. "But there are men who do not seem to be able to stay faithful to one partner. Some men relish the reputation of being a ladies' man and are loathe to change their behavior. So watch out -- some men can become addicted to the thrill of a secret affair."
Will He Cheat Again?
While there are no statistics on how many men who marry their mistresses go on to cheat again, the chances are that yes, he will. "Beware!" says psychologist Jill Curtis, author of How to Get Married...Again (Hodder and Stoughton, 2003). "Keep in mind that the number of second marriages that end in divorce is even higher than the 50 percent of first marriages that fail."Coping With His First Wife
In the throes of romantic passion, it's easy to imagine running away with a man and living blissfully, alone together, forever after. Unfortunately, a man with an ex-wife is a man with baggage that isn't going away. For one thing, if she feels you've "stolen" him, she will be an angry bit of baggage.Both ex-wives and society at large feel the mistress has stolen the husband "almost all the time," says Dr. Curtis. "So the finger of blame points at the mistress, hardly ever at the (male) lover." Such perceptions are hard to break, but not impossible. If you can't move away -- job, family, children or other commitments keep you close -- it is helpful to rise above whispering and behave like a woman who has done the right thing. Marriage is the high road. It's better than cheating -- for you, your husband, and even for his ex-wife.
If your husband and his ex-wife have children together, their relationship as parents, though altered, is permanent. You may have to see his former wife, take phone calls from her, and get feedback from him about your stepparenting skills. This could make you angry. If he is paying alimony, too, that's another connection that can breed resentment. Second wives often feel that alimony is a drain on the finances of the new family, or they may be jealous that he's spending money that could better be spent on you, the new wife. "Don't get drawn into a fight with the ex-wife no matter how provoked you feel," Curtis advises. "Rise above it and let the husband deal with it. Don't step in. You will not win."
B.O.L.O 
Fashion Disaster – POLICE
Disasters are Enforced!!!
Sentenced to 30 days away from cameras
And six months of stylist-supervised probation.
JUST A LITTLE . . . BASHING!1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butts and they get vapor lock)5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know .... hasn't happened)8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
